Teacher Guilt, Be Gone

Or at least diminished. 

Let's be honest here. When you love something you're always going to feel frustrated when you think you're not giving 100% to it 100% of the time.

Hahaha!

My relationship with teaching has evolved quite a bit over the last few years, but the thing that is a constant is teacher guilt.

Other teachers out there, you hear me?

When I was working in my previous district I was a hot mess.

I couldn't get it out of my head that I could always do more, be better, do one more thing. 

My school life became one big competition.

With myself, with others, and with the outside world.

I did not take care of myself. 

(I'm still pretty bad at that, but I'm working to get better.)

I felt like a complete and utter failure because I had so much on my plate that I was forgetting things left and right.

Unfortunately, the areas that suffered were two other hats I wear; mom and wife.

I am a solid Type A personality.

I'm not able to do things half-way.

Constantly being late for everything, never having a clean house, counting down to bedtime so I could resume my pile of work that never seemed to get smaller, sacrificing time with my husband so I could, you guessed it, WORK. 

It was awful.

Changing districts helped immensely. 

I dreaded it and held off as long as I could, but the prospect of being 10 minutes from school and 5 minutes from my daughter's preschool was too good to pass up.

I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

We had a snow (ice, really) day today and I was reflecting on how slowly I was moving today and loving it. 

In the past, I would have panicked because I didn't bring anything home and would immediately feel behind.

Today, I woke up, sat my happy butt on the couch with some coffee and vintage Charmed until my daughter woke up.

I changed the sheets, put away all the laundry, and went shopping where I was perfectly content to stand in the long line and chat with the woman behind me.

I am fully aware of what is still ahead of myself and my class this year, but one day for my students to stay safe and inside, and for me to recharge and take a day to be slow.

Teachers, when's the last day you took it slow?

Mrs. B

My New Classroom; Flexible Seating and Organization

One of the hardest things about moving schools was settling into my new classroom.  (Duh, I know.)  I am a sucker for efficiency and organization, so when those were semi-lacking the first few days of school I was a little nuts. 

I started out using three-drawer carts by Sterilite that I got from Walmart right before school started, but as I loaded them up with books I quickly realized that they were never going to hold up like I needed them to.  Plus, the kids needed more room than sharing a drawer with a classmate like I had planned.  

So, I brought the carts back and bought 3 nine-cube organizers instead.  That way, each student could have their own cubby to make a mess of call their own.  I did not put the 5 optional backing pieces on the cubes because they would have been destroyed quickly with the books going in and out.

One of the first things I told the students was that this room was a reflection of their love and care.  I explained that I would not be in charge of their items or cleaning up after them.  They work together to keep the room spic and span and make sure it's cleaned up before they go home.  They have been doing an amazing job!  One thing that has helped, though, is labeling everything with a number.  This way the students are held accountable for things left out.

Here are a couple of pictures of my current room.

The room is changing all the time due to what the students need.  They know that they can bring any piece of seating anywhere they choose as long as they aren't saving it for a friend or using it incorrectly.

One seating item that I will NOT purchase again is the bean bag chairs I got last year.  I got them for $7 on clearance one random morning at Meijer, which was awesome at the time because they usually go for well over $30 normally.

They started to flatten rather quickly and were a PAIN to refill because of all the paneling inside.  Once they have died and gone to chair heaven this time they will go in the trash.  Bummer, dude.

What awesome flexible seating options do you have?

Thanks for reading!

Mrs. B

Hey There!

So, during dinner the other night, my father-in-law turned to me and asked, "So, did you abandon that Paste thing?"  I laughed and said, "Kinda, sorta, not really?" (I'm super touched that he was interested enough in this little blog to ask!)

I have definitely been MIA over the last year.  I would have to attribute it to good old teacher burnout.  

Yup.  

I had it.

I was enjoying my life, don't get me wrong!  However, my school was 45 minutes away from my house, I was a TAP Mentor Teacher (which I loved and miss), I was leading a team that was falling apart in a school that was sinking (but I loved and had been there for seven years), and I kept having to sacrifice time with my husband and daughter to keep up with work and I was still failing miserably at doing so.

I knew I needed a change.  My family needed a change.

Over spring break I applied to two school districts near my house.  I was confident and not confident all at the same time.  What if they didn't want me?  What if I wasn't good enough? What if I HATE IT?

The first one I applied to never called back.  It's also the same district my husband works in.  That was a bit of a hit for me.

However, within 21 days of hitting submit on my second application, one all elementary principals interview I had a job offer for 4th grade!  At a school 10 minutes from my house!  

It was a real struggle not to scream and shout and dance around since I was on a walk with my daughter and not in our neighborhood.  Hahaha!  I didn't need these people thinking I was crazy!

Long story short, I'm happier than ever.

Though, I miss my colleagues and friends every day and miss the relationships I had build with them and the students, the people in my life have been commenting on how much more relaxed I am.  How much more I smile and seem to enjoy what I'm doing.

My new class is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  They are taking risks and growing their brains like weeds.  I enjoy them immensely and I *think* they like me, too. :)

My daughter is thrilled that I am FINALLY able to drop her off at preschool and pick her up any day she wants. I'm pretty darn happy about that, too.  My awesome husband was shouldering all of that and he deserves an award or something.

Hopefully, I'll be able to pop in on here more often now!

Until next time, 

Mrs. B

How I'm Developing the Culture of my Classroom

I'm going to be completely honest here.  I have not been my best teacher self the last few years.  My room has been working on creating a safe environment, so I'm going to extend that to this forum.  

My classroom has been a hot mess the last few years and there is one huge thing that I can pin that on...I have not been conscious enough of building my classroom culture from the start of the year.  I had been trying to simply deal with things as they came about, but that was not working.

My students were out of control because I was always in control.

As one of my favorite pastors (Hi, Dad!) says, "The more you try to control others, the more out of control YOU get."  Ain't that the truth.  I was trying to control things that didn't need to be run by me.  

One of the biggest things that I had let slide was a morning meeting time.  We had intervention right at 8 each morning and then I was placing all the emphasis on academics for the rest of the day.  I don't like to put that out there, but there is a huge emphasis on the content in classrooms.  Gotta get those standards in, darn it.  Breakfast started at 7:40, intervention started at 8:00 and the day took off from there.  I wasn't allowing the time to slow down and figure out my kids.

This year I have incorporated a Responsive Classroom morning meeting approach to my classroom.  No matter what, we are greeting each other and playing or talking with each other for 20 minutes every day.  No excuses. So far (3 and 1/2 weeks), we've been successful!   This morning the class talked together to decide when and how to celebrate birthdays in our classroom this year.  It was amazing to hear them guide each other and take charge of getting to an answer together.

Another thing I have introduced is Zones of Regulation.  I have quite the mix of needs this year.   I was introduced to Zones by the occupational therapist of my student with autism.  Being the daughter of a school counselor and the teacher of an English Language Learner class I found this approach immediately appealing.  Students have already started identifying themselves (and others!) in certain zones and how that affects their ability to interact with their classmates.  

I was sick last week with the worst cold I've had in a while and used it to start a dialogue with my class.  Thursday was the day I felt the worst so I let them know that since I was starting the day in the blue zone it was easier for me to get into the yellow and red zones.  I then explained that this was not their issue to deal with, but mine.  I needed to be more aware of my triggers and how to deal with what I was feeling during that time.  This was so helpful to begin communicating our emotions to each other.

Another helpful thing that has come from using Zones is that students have been better able to identify which zone they are in even if they can't name the emotion.  This is helpful because the emotions that my students are familiar with are happy, sad and mad.   I have had students discuss how another behavior puts them into a certain zone that makes it hard to learn.  My kids have had some great discussions already about how to deal with the behaviors that come with each zone. 

What are you doing to develop the culture in your classroom?

Flexible Seating: The Best Thing I Could Have Done

Last winter I kept stumbling on posts about Flexible Seating.  "I could never do that," I'd tell myself.  However, I was in a teaching rut.  My students weren't getting what they needed from me: CONTROL.  Control over their environment.  I was pushing them to take control of their own learning, while unintentionally limiting them in so many other ways.

Along came this post by Kayla Deltzer of Top Dog Teaching.  It was the inspiration I needed to take the plunge.  

This is what my classroom looked like at the beginning of last year.

What da heck, J?! I can barely breathe looking at the way the space used to be.  I was constantly tripping over chairs and running into desks.  The students were no better.   What could I expect?  There were 27 of them crammed into this space with all this darn furniture!

We had a three day week right before Spring Break, so I decided to let the kids design the new room.  I used tables that the school already had and no one was using and either took the legs off or raised them all the way up, snagged a couple of benches from a teacher moving out of a classroom, bought some canvas chairs at FIVE Below (5 at $5 each), brought in some old pillows from home, and learned that I am a minimalist at heart.  I surprisingly (I have NO IDEA WHY NOT) have no pictures of the classroom at this time!

I spent the summer trying to find cheap, but quality additions to the room.  I snagged stools from IKEA (10 at $5 each), white side tables from Target used as stools (2 at $8 each), and 3 child benches made by our corporate sponsor Lippert Components.  

Here's what the room looked like after the first 2 days of school:

Bench table and standing table

Floor table

 How we store our workbooks and read-to-self books

 Classroom library

It's the hot spot in the room.

 My space

The cleanest it will be all darn year.

 Table with "stools" from Target

At least one child tips over on these a day.  Someone asked if I was going to take them away and reminded them that second graders can fall of anything...including the flat ground if given the chance.  Hahahahaha!

The bench in the background was re-appropriated from around the school.

 One small group area with IKEA stools

Those are a favorite in the room.  I will definitely need to get more since we are always trying to find them for small group time!

 Small group area 2

The room often has kids working independently and up to 3 small groups happening at a time.

 Small group area and stage

The kids LOVE having a stage!  We use it for everything.  They scramble to present things in class so they can stand on it.  They also volunteer more to write things on the whiteboard since they get to stand up there to do it.

I say it's what it looked like 2 weeks ago because it's already changed!  That's the joy of flexible seating!  It changes as my students' needs change.

Here is what it looks like in action:

Items travel around the room all day long.  The only reminder they get is they own the room and the way the come into it the next day is the way they left it.  

If you have been considering Flexible Seating I would encourage you to GO FOR IT.  It's been the best thing I've ever done for my students.  An added bonus is that when I get over 25 students in the room it never feels like there are that many people in there.  SCORE!  Plus, I'm a huge fan of being on the floor, sitting on the counter cross-legged, and laying down to get as close to my students' level as I can.  Now I don't look like a dork doing it. :) 

Go ahead and try something that scares you this week!

Always,

Mrs. B

I'm BACK! I'm Back in the Saddle Again...

I'm always surprised to find that I still have a blog and that no one from the Blogger-sphere has taken the liberty of d-e-l-e-t-i-n-g this lil ole corner of the internet.

I'm not making any promises, but I have been getting the urge to write lately.  I think I go through phases of blogging and crocheting.  I'm not making any promises that I'll blog more this year, but I'd like to think that I will!

Well, I survived! Today marks the first day back with students of the year.

I'll be the first to admit, I was not ready to greet these new babes *quite* yet.

I ended last year with 23 students in my class.  We had 4 classes and I had the most by at least 2.

I have 27 "official" students on my list, but saw the whites of 24 sets of eyes this morning.

I truly believe that I am going to have a wonderful class this year...I simply have to bend them to my will!!  Muwahahahahahaha!

One professional change this year is that I am a Mentor Teacher.  My school uses the TAP Evaluation system and this is the 5th year.  Since we started with TAP I have known that I wanted to eventually be a Mentor Teacher.  I'm not one to rest on my laurels and keep the status quo the same each year.

Last year may have been the hardest of my career.  I had been with the same team for 4 years and we were AWESOME.  No, seriously.  We kicked edubooty.  However, good things don't last forever.  I ended up the team leader, mother to a 6 month old, and only person on a 4 person team with current 2nd grade experience.  

PLOT TWIST!

I am more than a little excited to take another step in my career.

Ok.  Back to this year.  I used objective boards in the past, but needed to change them this year to incorporate more aspects.  We got some new curriculum maps this year that don't fit the Monday-Friday model.  Because of that I designed my boards to reflect that we are always working on one thing to get to another.

The calm before the storm.

See that bench back there?!  

I snagged it on a whim from one of our lobbies (it was being re-purposed) and stuffed it into my classroom library.  I think the kids are going to love using it to read!

My first day wouldn't have been complete without some snuggles from my best girl.

We snagged some Mommy/Charliebabe time before bed and she held my hand!

Melt me into one gigantic puddle for heaven's sake!

Girlie and Husband are coming in to visit me tomorrow.

I can't wait for my new kids to meet her!

(I actually polished my nails!!  I'm wearing Essie's Mademoiselle.  It's my new favorite polish and I have a feeling that I'll go through the current bottle pretty quickly!)

Okie Dokie.

It's off to bed I go!

Laters,

Mrs. B

Failure to Thrive: Mommy Edition

I've been holding onto this post for quite a while.

However, this post pushed me into pushing the publish button.

I swear...this lady reads my mind.

And makes my crochet-deprived fingers itch.

Now, to the meat of things...

I have been infatuated with all things babies for as long as I can remember.

Growing up I would always say that I wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother.

I went into motherhood thinking that I was pretty prepared.

And then, the baby came.

And my world crumbled around me.

I couldn't control what was going on.

I couldn't fathom not knowing what to do.

I couldn't even plan a basic schedule for my day.

And, hey...you're telling me that babies don't know how to nap straight out the womb?!

I kept asking people on Facebook what they did for their children, worried that I would make the wrong decision for Charlie.

I read book after book and googled my fingers off.

I still couldn't figure out why my child cried for hours some nights but not others.

Why she seemed to only like me for my boobs.

Why she cried her head off for me all day, but settled down for my husband.

I wanted to make sure that she was "normal" and did things that other peoples' "normal" children did.

I didn't use the swing to get her to sleep at night because I thought that was cheating.

I didn't use the swing to get her to nap so I could take a quick shower.

I would wait until my husband got home to take showers every day because she wouldn't nap long enough for me to get undressed.

I spent a week crying my eyes out because I thought I wasn't a good enough mother for my child.

I wasn't following the books.

I was too worried about others.

I asked my mom when the happy, smiling baby on the covers of magazines would arrive in my household.

Then, my mom figuratively smacked a little sense into me.

She reminded me that parenting isn't about perfection.

It's about survival.

Put down the books.

Stop googling every little thing.

Listen to your gut.

Pay attention to Charlie's cues.

She'll let you know what she needs.

The swing got a lot more use after that!

I had to remember that I WAS and AM good enough.

Will I ever be a perfect parent?

Hell to the no.

Is my child a happy, healthy baby?

You bet.

That's what matters.

Laters,

Mrs. B