Teacher Guilt, Be Gone

Or at least diminished. 

Let's be honest here. When you love something you're always going to feel frustrated when you think you're not giving 100% to it 100% of the time.

Hahaha!

My relationship with teaching has evolved quite a bit over the last few years, but the thing that is a constant is teacher guilt.

Other teachers out there, you hear me?

When I was working in my previous district I was a hot mess.

I couldn't get it out of my head that I could always do more, be better, do one more thing. 

My school life became one big competition.

With myself, with others, and with the outside world.

I did not take care of myself. 

(I'm still pretty bad at that, but I'm working to get better.)

I felt like a complete and utter failure because I had so much on my plate that I was forgetting things left and right.

Unfortunately, the areas that suffered were two other hats I wear; mom and wife.

I am a solid Type A personality.

I'm not able to do things half-way.

Constantly being late for everything, never having a clean house, counting down to bedtime so I could resume my pile of work that never seemed to get smaller, sacrificing time with my husband so I could, you guessed it, WORK. 

It was awful.

Changing districts helped immensely. 

I dreaded it and held off as long as I could, but the prospect of being 10 minutes from school and 5 minutes from my daughter's preschool was too good to pass up.

I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

We had a snow (ice, really) day today and I was reflecting on how slowly I was moving today and loving it. 

In the past, I would have panicked because I didn't bring anything home and would immediately feel behind.

Today, I woke up, sat my happy butt on the couch with some coffee and vintage Charmed until my daughter woke up.

I changed the sheets, put away all the laundry, and went shopping where I was perfectly content to stand in the long line and chat with the woman behind me.

I am fully aware of what is still ahead of myself and my class this year, but one day for my students to stay safe and inside, and for me to recharge and take a day to be slow.

Teachers, when's the last day you took it slow?

Mrs. B